Resolved: We will prove that you can teach an old dog new tricks

Resolution time. A new year. A NEW year. I thought of just making one resolution, and seeing what I could do with it. Then I decided, screw that. Go big or stay home. If I complete all of them, I will be a god. If I do some of them, I will be a success. If I do none of them, I will still keep trying.



New Years Resolutions, 2009 Style (in categories, and sometimes, subcategories)

Weight: Lose Some. Enough to make a difference to my overall health. Lofty goal of 100 pounds by then end of 2009. Which should get me off BP meds, which would be really nice. To achieve this goal, substantial work will be involved. I will have to do some downright unspeakable things, namely diet and exercise (gasp). I will even have to keep doing them when I don't want to. Why is life so cruel? Subgoal: to kick Kelly's ass and make her fly my ass out to Portland so she can be my bitch.

Money: Save some. Have to get better at this budgeting thing, especially now that I am a homeowner. Which means I need to cut back on the frivolous spending. This should help me to pay for Kelly's ticket to Boston in the event she trounces my ass.

Substance: Less reality TV. In fact less TV in general. More reading and writing. No rithmatic, thankyouverymuch. 52 books this year. Yup, one a week. Thanks, Jen. And blogging. It cleanses me, makes me more able to function when I spew the venom about whatever is pissing me off, and makes me more grateful for whatever is making me happy, when I share these things with the 'world'.

Organization: We moved this year, so my shit is in chaos. My garage is like a war zone in Fallujah. And before I can organize that shit and move it to is spot in the house, I have to organize the shit that actually made it through the doors. I need you, Nate Berkus!!! Clean Sweep my shit! I need some clear totes and a label maker, stat! When life is chaos, it makes me uneasy and when life is organized I have that inner peace that people meditate to get. Lists harness my Chi. What can I say, I have some issues.

Marital Bliss: In short, I need to give up the ass more often. Sorry to be crass about it, but there is no way to flower up that shit. I have, for far too long, let my weight and how I feel about my own body, put a damper on my marital duties. I am a lucky bitch. I have a ready, willing, able and eager husband, who after 13 years, two kids and 180 pounds, still wants to nail me.....regularly. I need to get over my 'whah whah, I don't look good naked' attitude and just have me some sex!

I think that ought to cover it.

A lot? Yup.

Overwhelming? Hellz yes.

Doable? Debatable.

Worth it? You can bet my skinny, savings account having, well read, organized, much handled ass it will be.